Vacationsville!
(Latest 18 entries) (Calendar) (Friends) (User info)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Yes, we're on vacation. And we're blogging! What fun! What insanity! What the hell are we doing inside the room when we're Bermuda??!!
All will be revealed.....after a quick dip in the pool.
Current mood:  bouncy
Monday, September 5, 2005
First we'd like to thank everyone who actually read the blog and looked at the photos. It was really cool to do this and know that we were spewing our memories out into the Internet void. And here we are -- the final entry!
*************
Our re-entry into the real world was going to be a tough one, but we were prepared. Our planned schedule went like this: a quick hop from Maui to Honolulu, with a 90 minute layover; followed by a 9 hour flight from Honolulu to Atlanta; and then off to NYC, and home before 10 AM to unpack, sleep and unwind.
Here's what REALLY happened.
It was a quick hop from Maui to Honolulu, aided by a helpful Hawaiian Airlines staff member. But once we hit the Delta terminal in Honolulu, we got hopping MAD. Apparently our 9 hour flight from Honolulu to Atlanta was rescheduled (as it was the first of the month) to depart about 30 minutes later than we thought. What difference does 30 minutes make?
A SEVEN HOUR LAYOVER IN ATLANTA DIFFERENCE!
Yes, arriving at 6:37 AM as opposed to 6:08 AM in Atlanta prevented us from making our connecting flight into JFK. The next available flight out of Atlanta was to leave at 1:43 PM in the afternoon. Did we have to book ourselves onto the 1:43 flight? Yep. Did we have a choice? Nope. Did we bitch and moan like babies from hell? Oh, you betcha.
And yet! The fates were with us. We arrived EARLY into Atlanta. Woo hoo! We go directly to the Delta agent, who says that we can make our original 6:50 AM flight and that there are seats available! BUT....we have luggage checked. They can't recheck luggage in Atlanta. We're stuck. In the Atlanta airport. For seven more hours.
So finally, after a 9 hour flight from Honolulu, a 7 hour layover in Atlanta, and Chili's burgers and nachos, we make it home to JFK. We're in the baggage claim area and we're waiting. And waiting. And waiting. But that's ok...there are other Atlanta folks waiting as well. Waiting...waiting...waiting...
It should be noted that Tony, a brilliant young man, said for the record as we were landing: "You just know they lost our luggage."
After waiting 1.5 hours for our luggage (and being told by the smart and helpful Delta staff that our luggage "would be right out"), we finally learn that our luggage is in another terminal. How did our luggage get placed in another terminal?
IT ARRIVED ON THE EARLIER FLIGHT!!! THE ONE WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE BECAUSE OUR LUGGAGE COULD NOT BE RE-CHECKED ONTO THE EARLIER FLIGHT!!!
(Christine notes that Tony nearly threw himself on the ground in a fit. It was pretty awesome to see. He hasn't been that upset since "Freaks and Geeks" was canceled.)
That said, Delta did manage to leave one piece of luggage in Atlanta, which was delivered promptly at Noon (read: 7 PM) the next day.
We never should have left.
*********************************
HAWAII BY THE NUMBERS
999,999,999,999,999,999: the number of calories ingested over the 2 and a half week honeymoon
63: the number of times Tony corrected Christine's grammar and/or spelling
24: the number of mai tais consumed
20: the number of Na Hoku stores we went into looking for a bauble (Na Hoku = Zales of Hawaii)
18: the number of actual pounds gained (we'll leave it up to you to break down that figure)
16: the number of Dawson's Creek episodes we watched in the hotel room
13: the number CDs Tony bought in Hawaii (and coincidentally, the number of days we spent in Hawaii)
9: the number of burns we inflicted on our fragile skin for beauty
6: the number of ounces of vinegared spam Tony ate
5: the number of times we peed in the ocean (once again, we leave it to you to figure it out)
4: the number of truly horrific lounge singers employed by the hotels in Maui
3: the number of years it will take Tony to get on a boogie board again
2: the number of Dramamine that Christine will remember to take on her next helicopter ride
1: the number of amazing honeymoons we will take in a lifetime
0: the number of times we'll fly Delta again
**************
P.S. To see Tony's boogie boarding photos --
1. Open "Maui Day 4" folder
2. Once inside Maui Day 4, scroll down until you see "Last Day on Maui"
3. Click on "Last Day on Maui"
4. View photos!
Current mood:  happy
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Our last day in Maui was spent trying to take care of Christine's stiff neck, which she got, ironically enough, from too much lounging around. So MORE lounging was required, and this we did admirably.
Not quite so admirable was Tony's boogie-boarding debut, documented in all its awful glory by Christine (in the "Last Day In Maui" photo album, which was mistakenly inserted into the "Maui Day 4" album -- do a little searching and you'll find it). If any further proof was needed that Tony, sand and the ocean are not a good mix, we got it today. According to Christine, the most amazing thing is that Tony had the moxie to go out and try boogie-boarding. According to Tony, the biggest miracle of the day was that he didn't break his head open or drown. "I kept jumping into the waves too early," said Tony once he got all the salt water out of his nose, "so instead of riding the wave it would basically crash down on my head. The next time I try it -- which should be sometime in the next decade -- I'll know what to do."
We celebrated Tony's being alive by having our second straight dinner at David Paul's Lahaina Grill (seriously -- it's worth a trip to Maui just to check the place out) and some frantic last-minute gift buying. Now it's time to start packing, so we'll see you back on the mainland with our reflective, "What Did We Learn?" entry!
(We know we said that the previous blog would be our last from Hawaii, but this time we're serious.)
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
We haven't updated the blog in a couple of days, and there's a reason for that -- we haven't been doing much apart from lounging around the pool. Well, that's not quite accurate, but we HAVE been doing a lot of lounging, not to mention a lot of cheesy TV watching in our hotel room.
As for non-lounging highlights... we checked out Black Rock beach, where there's a lava cliff for diving (which we didn't do) and a lot of great snorkeling (which we did do). It seemed like every tourist on Maui was there when we decided to snorkel, but we managed to see some coral and a lot of cool fish, and didn't even smack into anyone.
After some snorkeling and beach time, we went parasailing! If you've never seen or done it, you get hooked up to a parachute which is attached to a motorboat by a long cord, and then stand on the back of the speeding boat and let the wind blow you up about 100 feet or so. We'd love to show you the pics of the young newlyweds smiling, waving and (in Tony's case, at least) grasping the harness for dear life, all while turning only slightly green, but they were taken with a non-digital camera. So we'll post them on our return when we can use our scanner. It was a fun experience, one it's kind of hard to describe. Except that it feels like you're 100 feet in the air and being dragged around by a speeding motorboat. Kind of a mix between a rollercoaster and a helicopter ride, and not nearly as nauseating as either.
Apart from that, our days have been: Sleep, lie in the sun, go for a swim, repeat. Not a bad way to wind down our vacation.
Last night we had the best meal, hands down, that we've had since our vacation to Hawaii. Write this down, kids -- DAVID PAUL'S LAHAINA GRILL in Maui. We got the tasting selection, in which we were presented with a little of a lot of things on the menu (salad, seafood cakes, meat, fish, dessert, the works), and this place can stand proudly alongside any restaurant in NYC. American food with French, Italian, and of course Hawaiian influences, and delicious. So good, in fact, that we're going back tonight for our last dinner in Hawaii (sigh...).
This is our last full day in Hawaii, and consequently this will probably be the last you'll hear from us until we arrive home, when we'll do a Honeymoon Blog Wrap-up and post any yet-to-be-posted pictures. Until then... mahalo for reading and Aloha!
Kilikina & Akoni Haka (our Hawaiian names)
Sunday, August 28, 2005
We spent our first full day in Maui in the tourist-trap area of the island, Lahaina, where we shopped in lots of cheesy stores and a few surprisingly classy ones, and checked out a few historic sights. Every time we stopped into an authentic restored 19th century building, without air conditioning of course, Tony immediately started sweating profusely, which led him to think that if he'd lived 100 years ago, he'd have moved to Alaska instead of Hawaii.
But on to more important things... like THE LUAU! Though we should say we've seen other "luaus" (the Mai Kai in Florida, the show in the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Oahu, and the embarrassingly cheesy one right here at the Hyatt in Maui), nothing prepared us for this event. Yes, there were lots of colorful cocktails with very little alcohol, tiki torches, and other Hawaiiana around. But the Old Lahaina Luau really attempted to share some of Hawaiian history and culture with actual Hawaiians. Before dinner and the show, we got to walk around the grounds and talk with artisans who were practicing age-old trades like clothmaking, stonecarving, and cooking.
Speaking of cooking... here's the menu:
- Lau lau pork (the Kalua pig roasting in the underground oven)
- Poi
- Ahi Poke (tuna sashimi w/onion and seaweed marinade)
- Sweet Purple Potato
- Pulelu steak
- Chicken fried rice
- Island style chicken (marinaded in guava sauce)
- Maui style mahi mahi
- Stir fried veggies
- Chicken long rice
- Local style fried rice
- Island crab salad
- Taro salad (taro, spinach, and coconut sauce)
- Pahole salad
- Lomi lomi salmon
- Bread (including taro bread)
- Dessert (coconut pudding squares, brownie w/macnut, macnut tart, and passionfruit mousse in a chocolate cup)
The hula performance followed dessert. It was a wide ranging look at the tradition of hula from the ancient polynesians, through missionary hawaii, and modern hula -- and the effect of the visiting peoples and the land had on the transformation of the art. Did you know that the last queen of Hawaii -- Queen Lillio'kalani (sorry if it's spelled wrong) -- wrote "Aloha Oe"? So cool.
Like everything in Hawaii, the luau finished by 9 PM. We arrived back at the hotel by 9:15 PM (no traffic here!) only to be greeted with a bottle of complimentary champagne! Woo hoo! We should get married and go away every week!!
Tony would like to mention that at our table were two other newlywed couplees. The couple right across from us was from...Boston. Before, we go any further, Tony would also like to mention that he only hates Red Sox fans in New York. Anyway... it's interesting to note that if you're male and from either Boston or New York, it's automatically assumed -- and usually correctly so -- that you care about baseball.
-------
Tony: Oh, you're from Boston?
Bill: Yep. You're from New York, huh? The Yankees won today.
Tony: Yeah. Last I heard the Sox were losing.
Bill: Yeah. Yeah, they lost. Yanks are only a game and a half out now.
(Conversation immediately turns to the relative merits of Manny Ramirez, while the women look pained and then start their own conversation)
_____________
So, tomorrow is parasailing. We're going to do it tandem. Apparently, we don't weigh enough individually to go by ourselves. YES!
Aloha!
Guava Chicken and Octopus Poke
(Guess who's favorite meal was who's)
Current mood:  full Current music: Mel Torme
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Here's a Reader's Digest condensed version of the last two days:
Our last day in Kauai began with the first rainstorm we've seen since we got here, and true to form, NOBODY except for a couple of dimwitted tourists (not us!) entered the water for the rest of the day. You see, after a rainstorm, the water clouds up, and you can't see the sharks -- but they can see you....
Our morning was taken by a Uruguayan gentleman whom we lovingly nicknamed "Retardo Montalban," since his hair and accent reminded us of Mr. Rourke of "Fantasy Island" fame. His job was to cajole, lecture and harangue us until we bought an RCI timeshare from him. On the spot, there and then, no hemming and hawing. Two and a half hellish hours later, we escaped -- barely. And we're proud to say that we're NOT RCI Timeshare owners. Although we can do a mean Mr. Rourke-selling-timeshares impersonation now.
We checked out Mango Mama's for lunch for the second day running. Kauai has produce that's so fresh that it almost says "Ouch" when you bite into it. We don't know how we're going to deal with eating NYC fruits and veggies when we get back. We continued our food journey with a pit stop at the Guava Kai Plantation. It's one of the few mainstream processing plants left in Hawaii -- sugar and pineapples are now mostly grown in South American markets, where the labor is cheaper. We bought a couple of guavas and took a walk around the gorgeous grounds.
Dinner was at Cafe Hanalei at the Princeville Hotel. It was far and away the best formal dining experience we had on the island. (The best food on Kauai, however, comes not from the hotels or fancy restaurants but from the little roadside stands that dot the island.) We had cocktails beforehand and took pictures of the sunset from the veranda, which seems to be the most popular sunset-watching spot on the island. Dozens of people congregate between 6 and 7 PM and take photos.
This morning, we boarded a little prop plane for Maui. Christine, not satisfied with a PT Cruiser Convertible, rented a Jeep Wrangler. (Christine: Actually, it was based on the recommendation of a friend in Oahu -- she said to get the Jeep if we were going to do the sights in Maui.) After first piling our stuff into the wrong Jeep, taking it all out, and then piling it into the right Jeep, we made the trek to the lovely and enormous Hyatt Regency hotel in West Maui. '70s tiki decor abounds, so you can rest assured that Mr. Sachs is a happy man tonight.
Sorry to report that all we've done so far is drink, eat a pupu platter which consisted mostly of grease (but delicious grease!), and swim and sunbathe a bit. So if you'll excuse us....
C & T (Cheesy & Tiki)
Current mood:  giddy Current music: Selections from Martin Denny's "Exotica III"
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Apart from the usual fun (tennis and swimming in the morning, lots of yummy food throughout the day), the highlight of today was Christine's difficult but ultimately triumphant windsurfing debut. Two hours of intensive training and practice turned our heroine from a windsurfing novice to... well... a windsurfing novice, but a novice with flair. (Tony, thinking that a fractured skull could put a damper on the honeymoon, wisely decided to work on his snorkeling/sunburning/windsurfing photography skills instead of joining his lovely wife.)
When asked to comment on her first day as a windsurfer, Christine said "Get me a mai tai and a burger. NOW."
Here are some more thoughts from the windsurfer herself:
"Rule 1 of windsurfing...stay away from the swimmers. They get very upset when you run over them. The resort hooked me up with a California transplant named Celeste who's been teaching windsurfing for about 20 years in Kauai. She talked us (me and two other gals) through the basics and then let us go on the water. Thank GOD the current wasn't too strong today cause the wind sure was. Balancing on the board is one thing...balancing when the wind in is the sail is a completely different story. It may have been the only time in my life I wished I had more *ahem* bulk on me. Windsurfing is pretty fun but tiring - trying to steer and balance and hold the mast up is a little complicated. I usually pride myself on my athletic ability but on the board -- none! zero! zilch! I felt like such an uncoordinated dweeb. We actually got to use the boards for three hours, but I was pooped after two. It was great though. What a beautiful place to surf the water. Oh! While windsurfing, a sea turtle swam up next to me to check me out. I'm glad I didn't fall on him."
Tony, on having a windsurfer for a wife:
"It was very exciting watching Christine get the hang of it. I walked over about 100 yards from where our beach towels were to take photos, and she was still getting the hang of it -- she fell a few times. As I was ready to walk back, however, she finally made it out about 50 yards and then back to the beach without falling, and I was SO excited. I was jumping up and down, and so were the other people who were taking lessons. I don't know how she lasted for two hours out there. She was pretty exhausted by the end of the lesson. It's a tribute to her athleticism that she was able to get the hang of it so quickly. I just hope the photos I took show how difficult windsurfing is!
Check out all the photos and experience the drama with us!"
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Sorry about that. Photobucket is down right now. Two days of pics to come!
Today, our 10th day of being married and the exact midpoint of our honeymoon, we discovered something very interesting: our travel habits in Hawaii mirror those of being in NYC -- we always head south. North, what is this thing you call "North?"
Once again, we traveled to the southern part of Kauai. We saw the very lovely Spouting Horn (a blowhole of lava rock through which sea water spurts up). We also traveled to two historic towns of Kauai: Koloa, the site of the first sugar plantation, and Hanapepe, a curious mix of old-school Hawaii and yuppy tourist. One of the more interesting facets of Hanapepe (outside of the OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive gifty shops right next to the tin shanties) is that it has a swinging bridge. It's basically a one-person suspension bridge lined with rickety wood. Very rickety wood. Very Indiana Jones.
Koloa is the place where we experienced the magic of the Hawaiian "Plate Lunch." Think comfort food Hawaiian style and lots of it: Tony got pulled Kalua Pig with 2 scoops of rice, some weird cellophane noodles, a salsa salad with some kind of meat and a delicious spicy poke (tuna sashimi). It was very delicious. Christine got the same thing but with pork steamed in taro and ti leaves -- the "lau lau." Not so delicious.
It was so not delicious that we ate again about an hour later. After visiting Spouting Horn and the tahitian pearl vendors, we found THE TRUCK! Dad Simpson had mentioned the shrimp truck in passing, but this was two years ago. It is still there. This plate lunch was outrageous. Ten pieces of shrimp marinated for 24 hours in some kind of garlic sauce, topped with coconut milk, tomatos, mango and some other yummy un-named things over white and brown rice and tropical slaw. It was totally worth the indigestion.
Then we found THE FRUIT STAND! Throughout Kauai, there are these little roadside stands that seem to be run by old Hawaiian women, and they have the most delicious (and very ripe) fruit on the island. We bought a sunrise papaya -- that promptly went bad in the 4 hours between when we bought it and when we got home. We also bought apple bananas. These are mini bananas that, strangely enough, taste like both apples and bananas. YUM.
THEN, we went to dinner. We stopped at the Grand Hyatt at Poipu, which is grand indeed. It's a little bit of artificial Hawaii, complete with tiki torches, thatched roof huts, and huge carp that seem to be starving since they swarm the sides of the hotel and nearly jump out of the water and eat your hand if you dare throw anything to them. We ate at the Tidepool Restaurant, a very romantic spot recommended by Frommer's tour guide. It was....if you don't count the psychotic carp and the wailing child (and subsequent bitchy parents) behind us.
OH! We finally saw poi! It was in a bag in some little grocery store in Koloa. We're thinking it may be out of season, but we're not scheduled to go to a Luau until Maui. We'll let you know in a week or so. In the meantime, we found out that Hawaiians supposedly consume 25 tons of the stuff a week. If that's the case, they may just be hiding it from us.
One last interesting tidbit of note: driving at night is the only time you can smell the guava from the guava plantations.
Tomorrow - windsurfing!!
King Kalakaua and Queen Lillio'kalani
P.S. -- Queen Lillio'kalani is a ton more fun when she's not driving.
Current mood: full Current music: A vacuum in use
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
We just found out that Don Ho is in the hospital for upper respiratory problems. Sorry we trashed his show. Nothing but love for the Ho. Nothing but love. (Also, how could not have love for the man born on Aug. 13?)
Today was a bit of a mellow day. It started with a 4 mile jog for Christine at 6:30 AM; followed by a tennis match between T&C at 8:30 AM, and then driving. Lots and lots of driving. Kauai is all about the car.
We saw the Opekaa Falls (a waterfall you can drive up to), the remains of a lava-rock temple of the last king of Kauai (on which there is a sign for the dumb tourists -- "This is a sacred place for Hawaiians. Show some respect."), and the Kilauea nature preserve and lighthouse.
We stopped at the Princeville Hotel for afternoon tea to round out the day. We have decided to become afternoon tea tasters. Everywhere we go, we'll "test out" the place's tea service. Nothing to be ashamed of, but, to be honest, the Sheraton in Waikiki was hands above the Princeville tea. Can't wait for Maui -- there may be two teas to try.
We don't need to talk about the bad tourist trappy malls.
Dinner was at a "trendy" restaurant in Poipu -- basically on the other side of the island. Kauai is ... an island for outdoorsy kinds of folks. Running water, electricity, paved roads -- only for the tourists. Although you can cover the entire island in about 1.5 hours drive time, it becomes an Outward Bound adventure after dark. The locals all drive pickup trucks. The rest of us drive PT cruiser convertibles and apparently don't know how to shut off our brights. After getting back to our resort, Christine enjoyed a large cognac. Or two.
Hopefully tomorrow, Tony's sunburn will be a faded memory and we'll get in some good beach time. Christine is eager to try windsurfing. Tony is eager to take her picture from the bar on the sand.
We can't play the iPod in the car, and the radio isn't very good here, so the soundtrack to our trip has been the handful of CDs Tony has picked up here (8 in 7 days). Mostly old-school hula tunes (buy Alfred Apaka CDs NOW!) and three Herb Alpert discs. We highly recommend both for traveling in Hawaii.
Till tomorrow...
Mr. & Mrs. Zacht (as our hostess at dinner mispronounced it -- Christine's gotta get used to a lifetime of having her last name mangled...)
Current mood:  tired Current music: Old-school Hawaiian music in the Clubhouse
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Aloha from the Garden Island!
It's sunny. It's hot. It's still Hawaii - oh yeah. Yesterday was a travel day. We left Oahu and arrived in Kauai at around Noon. Again, we scored vehicularly -- another convertible. It comes in handy on this island...there's only one road and you have to drive on this one road to get anywhere on the island. Though...how can you tell the tourists from the natives? The tourists are the ones riding in the convertibles and sporting the subsequent scalp burns. (The natives all seem to drive pickup trucks.)
SUNBURN UPDATE:
Tony -- bright pink everywhere he didn't slather on the lotion.
Christine -- random weird spots (her right thigh, both arm boobs...the flabby area right below the armpit) were bright pink and painful but have since faded to a rose pink.
OAHU, LAST DAY:
(Wow, this is going to be a long post.)
Snorkeling at Hanauma Bay was amazing. Although we're glad we went before we knew about the sharks that live in the reef. Rule 1 of the locals...don't swim after a rain storm. You can't see them, but bet your butt, they can see you. Our first half-hour at Hanauma was spend under a lifeguard station avoiding a breif but powerful rain. NICE!
That night, we met Christine's friend Maile and her husband Mike at a bar called Lewer's Lounge in the Halekulani Hotel. Maile is in fundraising, which is how they met, and her husband is a career military guy. We ate lots of cheese and had yummy drinks created by Dale DeGroff, Tony's idol. (Sidenote: it was interesting getting a soldier's view on the good we did in Afghanistan and why we shouldn't be in Iraq. He's actually leaving for his second tour in Iraq next August.)
KAUAI, DAY 1:
Duane's Ono-Char Burger. No need to say more, except that it's worth traveling to Kauai just to have one.
Bedtime @ 8:30 PM. AWESOME!
Our room has the most spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean. Few hotels on the island have air conditioning because of the tradewinds. The temperatures climb to the high 90s during the day, but as soon as night hits, it cools to a balmy 60-something.
KAUAI, DAY 2:
We experienced Will Spyres Helicopter Tours of the island: a 60-minute bird's-eyeview of the island. We saw the world's wetest location, places where a number of films have been shot, the grand canyon of the pacific island, and a really cool goat. Actually, our trip lasted about 57 minutes. Our pilot took pity on Christine white-knuckling an "aloha" bag.
Tony enjoyed Christine's getting ill because it allowed him to reference her as his wife to a stranger for the first time:
STRANGER: Did you enjoy the ride?
TONY: Absolutely. Although, my wife seemed to get a bit ill halfway through.
(Christine: I'm surprised he didn't take a picture)
Once Christine recovered her color, we drove all around, ending up at the Princeville Hotel.
D A M N! Now that's what we call a hotel. Think the Plaza Hotel in the middle of a small Hawaiian Island.
The Princeville Hotel is built into the moutians. The entrance is actually on the 9th floor. You have to go down to get to your room. We had lunch by the pool. Another interesting side-note about Kauai...nobody eats between 2:30 and 5 PM. Just try getting lunch anywhere besides that pool!
We think we're caught up. We'll let you return to your lives away from this blog. See you tomorrow!
Bright Pink and Pale Green
Current mood:  nauseated Current music: Old-school Hawaiian music in the Clubhouse
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Forgot to add:
11. WHO WAS THE DUMB-BUTT THAT FORGOT THE CAMERA WHEN GOING TO HANAUMA BAY?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
12. (SEE HAWAII DAY 3 IN PHOTOBUCKET FOR THIS QUESTION)
Our apologies for the ridiculously boring entry yesterday. Tony was too tired to write anything amusing, and Christine slept through what should have been the editing process.
So... we will present our day's activities in the form of a multiple choice QUIZ! Have fun, and be sure to use a #2 pencil.
1. WHO FORGOT TO PUT LOTION ON, AND NOW SPORTS PAINFUL PINK AND WHITE STRIPES, ON HIS/HER FEET?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
2. WHO PEED IN THE OCEAN?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
3. WHO PEED IN THE OCEAN TWICE?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
4. WHO SPILLED SAND ON THEIR LOVING (AND UNSUSPECTING SPOUSE) WHEN THEY TRIED TO SHAKE OUT THEIR TOWEL?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
5. WHO SAID "I'M KIND OF INTERESTED IN LEARNING TO SURF. IF I COULD SURF IN THE POOL, THAT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER!"
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
6. WHO SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AT THE TROPICAL FISH SWIMMING NEXT TO HIM/HER AT HANAMUA BAY?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
7. WHO SAID "I LOVE THE WATER. I HATE THE BEACH"?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
8. WHO, ONCE AGAIN, PROVED HER PEASANT ROOTS BY TURNING DARK BROWN AFTER 40 MINUTES IN THE SUN?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
9. WHO, ONCE AGAIN, PROVED HIS EASTERN EUROPEAN ROOTS BY STAYING GHOSTLY WHITE AFTER 4 HOURS IN THE SUN?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
10. WHO SWALLOWED MORE SEAWATER?
A: Christine
B: Tony
C: Both
Current mood:  mischievous Current music: CNN News on TV
Friday, August 19, 2005
Last night we dined at La Mer in the ultra-posh Halekalani hotel, which is pretty much the only place on Oahu that requires you to dress in something other than flip-flops and a "Hang Loose" t-shirt. We got all dolled up (the wedding rings look very sharp with evening wear!) and walked straight into paradise. We sat near an open window with a view of the beach and palm trees and moonlight bouncing off the water which we'd thought only existed in cheesy paintings. From the open-air bar downstairs we could hear the strains of an old-school Hawaiian band, The Aloha Islanders, playing brilliant versions of tiki-era classics. We really felt like we'd arrived in heaven. And the food... the food! We ordered the six course degustation menu (fancy word for tasting menu), and the eats just kept coming. And coming. And coming. We got there at 8, and we were still eating after 11. Even gluttons like us have our limits, and by the time the petit fours came out we were begging for mercy and a stomach pump. The cheese course and foie gras alone were worth the price of admission, but we should have fasted for a couple of weeks before going.
Of special interest to the pervy boys who may be reading this was the lovely lesbian couple sitting at the next table, holding hands and gazing longingly into each other's eyes. We know at least one fella (hey, buddy!) who would have trailed them back to wherever they were staying, leaving a trail of drool behind him.
This morning we got up bright and early and headed out to Pearl Harbor. We were warned about 1 to 3 hour waits just to get to the USS Arizona memorial, and while our wait was only about 40 minutes, we realized that the trick is to go later in the day. Everyone is so worried about waiting on line that they all get there at the crack of dawn. By noon, there are no lines at all.
As for the actual sights and sounds... Christine was more than a little uncomfortable about visiting a place that wound up producing so much anti-Asian sentiment back in the day, but those sorts of issues were handled with great sensitivity -- which makes sense, because a good percentage of the visitors were in fact Japanese. There was no "Japs evil, Americans good" stuff, just a clear explanation of the political situation that evolved into World War II. The Arizona memorial was very beautiful -- we were especially touched to see a monument with a list of the soldiers who survived Pearl Harbor but had their ashes interred with their shipmates on the Arizona decades later.
Before checking out the USS Missouri, we had the bizarre experience of eating sushi at Pearl Harbor. We don't know if anyone else ever considered or appreciated the irony, but it was definitely weird.
Exploring the Missouri (which was actually kept in service until 1992, so it's as much a monument to the Gulf War as to World War II) made us realize that to be in the Navy, it helps to be short. Even Tony, who stands a proud 5'6", almost needed to duck on occasion when going through particularly small doorways. It was very cool to stand on the very spot where the Japanese formally surrendered to the US of A, which officially ended World War II.
A quick trip to the Bishop Museum followed -- it's a tiny museum in our hotel dedicated to Hawaiian history. We saw gorgeous feather leis, ancient stone tools, the legendary Duke Kamanohoku's surfboard, and other interesting pieces of Hawaiiana. It was especially interesting to see 100-year-old films of Hawaiian beach scenes filmed by Thomas Edison. The swimsuits may have changed, but the happy, carefree, slightly self-conscious and goofy expressions on people's faces are exactly the same in the films from 1906 as they are today.
Dinner tonight was at Alan Wong's, voted the best restaurant for native Hawaiian eats by... um... whoever gives them those plaques that they have on the walls. The food was killer. Our favorite dish was "Da Bag," which was an enormous foil bag containing a big bowl of steamed pork, clams, spinach, mushroom and tomato. The service kicked serious ass. Not only did the restaurant call a cab for us at the completion of the meal, but they even had a selection of different colored wraps handy for Christine, whose arms were cold from the air conditioning. Try getting THAT in NYC! (Actually... can you?)
OTHER MISCELLANEOUS STUFF:
(Christine, to Tony, in the car today:) You should have brought the Martin Denny CDs. (ANOTHER TIKI CONVERT!)
(Waiter at Alan Wong's, to us:) You're tourists? You had me fooled. (We thought we were pretty obvious, considering Tony's Hawaiian shirt and the fact that we both ordered mai tais rather than wine to start the evening, but we will take the compliment at face value.)
SPAM UPDATE: No spam or musubi (or spam musubi, for that matter) was consumed today. Our stomachs needed a break. We'll try to resume, or at least get some good pictures of the various musubis, tomorrow.
You may find it weird that we've been here since Monday and have dipped our toesies in the ocean only once. And we haven't even gone near the pool. It's because there's lots of other stuff to do on Oahu. The next two islands we're visiting, Kauai and Maui, are all about the beach, so we figure we'll get more sand in our shoes then.
More pics will be posted tomorrow, we promise.
Mahalo for reading!
Mrs. Sachs and Mr. Simpson
Thursday, August 18, 2005
We celebrated our 100 hour anniversary at 5:30 PM Hawaii time!
Today was another fine day in paradise. We awoke early and drove to Haunama Bay, which is supposed to be the best snorkeling spot on Oahu, only to find that the parking area was already -- at 8:45 AM -- completely full, and were forced to turn back. We'll be up at the crack of dawn (yes, even Tony) on Friday to try again.
Our contingency plan involved checking out Chinatown (surprisingly, no roast pork buns to be had anywhere, but we found a truly amazing dessert with coconut milk, tapioca pearls, pickled fruits, gelatin-based stuff, and other delicious but unidentifiable goodies). Then it was off to the 'iolani Palace, built for the last king and queen of pre-annexation Hawaii in the 1880s, followed by a trip to Aloha Stadium -- actually the parking lot, which hosts an enormous flea market three times a week. It was mostly cheap knick-knacks aimed at tourists, but it was a lot of fun and we found a few cool items amidst the dross.
We decided to play imperialist pigs this afternoon and headed for afternoon tea at the Banyan Veranda at the Sheraton. The building, the oldest private residence in Oahu, was originally designed to be a plantation when it was built in 1901, and you can almost hear the ghosts of mustachioed mainlanders from long ago shouting "Boy! More milk for the tea!" Now, of course, most of the waitstaff and customers are from mainland Asia, but that's another story.... The afternoon tea is as decadent and astoundingly good as anything you can find in New York or London. Tea sandwiches, scones, little cakes and tarts -- the works. Definitely a must-visit for anyone on the island.
MUSUBI UPDATE: Tony was so impressed with the Spam musubi we consumed yesterday that he decided to try a variation this morning. Dubbed "Hawaiian Winner," it contained the usual brick of sushi rice, topped with what appeared to be a small pink hot dog sliced in half. Apparently Hawaiian franks are pink in color, heaven knows how or why. At any rate, we won't be sampling this particular delicacy again (at least not until we can get the grease off our lips), although Tony has his eye on a Spam-and-egg musubi for breakfast tomorrow. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
We tried out the the most popular snack food of Hawaii, spam musubi. For some reason, back in the mists of time, an anonymous (we presume) Hawaiian saw a large brick of sushi rice and said "Hey! I'll bet this would be great with a piece of soy sauce-soaked Spam on it!" When we saw it at a local supermarket, we couldn't resist. How could a couple of million Hawaiians who supposedly eat the stuff be wrong, we reckoned. And, truth be told, it's not bad! Neither of us are Spam fans, but we could theoretically be convinced to try spam musubi again.
More memories of Don Ho:
1. He spent the entire show seated at something that's either a keyboard or a table, we're not sure, with a phone on the side. He'd pick up the phone throughout the show, bark a couple of off-mic words into it, and then hang up. During one song he even did it between singing each line. Finally, someone in the crowd asked who he was talking to. "Elvis," he said.
2. The highlight of the show was a 16 year old girl who performed Chuck Berry, Santana, Dick Dale and Beethoven tunes on the ukelele.
3. Most of his jokes were about how his fans are all dead.
4. There was less applause at the end of the show than we've ever heard at a paid public event.
We left the camera in the car yesterday, so pictures of exciting things like Tony wearing mandals will be uploaded later today!
Husband & Mrs. Husband
It was a long and busy day, starting at 4:30 AM when our jetlagged asses woke up. Christine went for a sunrise jog, and then we swam in the Pacific, drove up the Waikiki coast and checked out the sights (including the Magnum PI lighthouse!), bought Tony his first pair of mandals (which he loves) and a new Hawaiian shirt (which we both love), got Christine a sexy new swimsuit (which Tony loves), and had a lovely old-school Chinese dinner while we watched the sun set. A beautiful day.
And then it happened.
It took three days, but we've encountered the first rocky patch in our marriage. It lasted about an hour and forty-five minutes -- the exact length of time it took us to see Don Ho's show at the Waikiki Beachcomber.
Part of why we're married is because Christine doesn't mind seeing oddball musicians who had their last hit before either of us were born. And things were looking golden when it was announced that the Man Himself would pose for pictures with anyone in the audience who wanted one before the show. Tony's exclamation of the day: "Wow, I can't believe that in one week I'm getting married AND meeting Don Ho!" (Stay tuned for a scan of the glossy 8 X 10" pic, coming one of these days.) We'll never forget Don's words to us as we were hustled to the flag-draped photo area: "Look between the cameras. (To Christine) Hey, you look like my daughter." We saw his daughter. Christine doesn't look like her.
The show was bad. It was so bad that it went beyond so-bad-it's-good into an entirely new realm of badness. Think a Hawaiian version of Elvis in his last months, or Dean Martin after all the boozehound jokes had become a reality. In Christine's words, "it was like being stabbed in the eye a trillion times." For the first half of the show, he'd wheeze and mumble his way through a fragment of a song before introducing one unknown special musical guest after another to, for example, sing a version of "You Light Up My Life" or "God Bless The USA." We should mention that these guests all ranged in age from 6 to 16. It was like a low-rent, incredibly depressing version of Don's early '70s variety show combined with "Star Search."
After the most excruciating hour of our lives, Don seemed to wake up -- you could understand the jokes he was making between the songs, which he'd actually started singing (OK, croaking) all the way through. By himself. When we say "understand" the jokes, by the way, we mean both the content of said jokes and his enunciation. But by that time it was too late for us to find any solace or enjoyment in the evening. We just wanted it to be over. Which it was, finally. But before we could leave, he still sucked $20 out of us for the photo, an autograph, a "free" cassette of "A Night With Don Ho In Hawaii," and a coupon for a free "Suck 'Em Down Glass" at Don's restaurant in the Aloha Tower.
We've patched things up, you'll be happy to know. It took Tony promising to get up and jog with Christine at 5:30 in the morning for the next year, and baubles -- lots and lots of baubles. But the marriage is back on track!
Moral of the story: Let the wife pick the entertainment.
Current mood:  numb Current music: Nothing on at the moment, especially not Don Ho
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Hello from the center of the Tiki Universe!! Actually, we're a bit north of center, but it's close enough for state work (as Dad Simpson would say).
After dealing with multiple acts of mischief from the weather gods all weekend, we're really, really, really happy to be married and in Hawaii. It's true what they say -- fly first class! If we weren't high from being newlyweds, we'd realize that we still can't straighten our legs completely.
The Hilton Hawaiian Village in sunny downtown Oahu is more a compound than a hotel. Everything you need (restaurants, shops, beach, etc.) is all here. If we really wanted to (which we don't) we could spend all five days here without leaving a 10 block radius.
SCORE! For the same price as a cheap-ass compact car, we got a PT CRUISER CONVERTIBLE. The tops of our heads will be sunburnt. AWW YEAH.
Our first dinner, where we saw our first Hawaiian sunset and had our first Hawaiian Mai Tais, was at Bali By The Sea, right on Waikiki Beach. The piece de resistance was a mini Diamond Head volcano made of chocolate, pouring smoke from the dry ice beneath it, and topped with two chocolate truffles. Cheeseballs' Hawaiian dream!
We'll update as we can. We also have a bunch of photos which will be periodically updated as well. Go here (http://photobucket.com/albums/b29/simpsonsachs/) to see. The password is "hawaii". Today is in album "Hawaii - Day 1."
Aloha,
Mr. & Mrs.
Current mood: tired Current music: Butterfly - Crazy Town
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
simpson_sachs's journal